A Numb Lullaby
by ThisCatalyst'sPen
Summary: A brother's sacrifice and last moments on earth..."No! Raphael get out of here, now!" Leonardo cried desperately, seeing the flashing red numbers from the corner of his eyes. "No," Raphael whispered fiercely. "I'm not going to let you die alone. If we die, we die together." Then Raphael grabbed Leo's hand in his and squeezed. And then the bomb went off. CHARACTER DEATH. Two-shot.
1. In Your Arms, Tonight

~_A Numb Lullaby_~

* * *

**Summary:** A brother's sacrifice and last moments on earth..."No! Raphael get out of here, now!" Leonardo cried desperately, seeing the flashing red numbers from the corner of his eyes. "No," Raphael whispered fiercely. "I'm not going to let you die alone. If we die, we die together." Then Raphael grabbed Leo's hand in his and squeezed. And then the bomb went off. CHARACTER DEATH. Two-shot.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT or the songs and quotes used throughout this story. All rights belong to their respective owners. I make no profit from this.

**A/n: **I have had this idea in my mind for a while now and only just got around to writing it. It took about three hours to write and thirty minutes to proof read through, but I am rather happy with it. As it says in the summary, this _is _a death-fic, so if anyone does not like them, I suggest you hit the back button and don't read any further.

Warnings for swearing and violence.

The songs used throughout this story are as followed;

**Be Strong**- Delta Goodrem

**How Could This Happen To Me?**-Simple Plan

**One Heart Million Voices**- New Empire

**Broken**- Seether

**Cough Syrup**- Young The Giant

**Iridescent**- Linkin Park

**Lullaby**- Nickleback

**Night Of My Life**- Stephanie Mcintosh

**Last Goodbye**- Alex Band

**You Are My Sunshine**- Johnny Cash

* * *

Pain…

Blood…

Ceaseless tide…

Being pulled under…

Waves...

Suffocating...

Darkness.

* * *

Confusion, but ahead, a growing clarity.

Sounds, soft, barely there, growing steadily louder, clearer.

Sensations returning, slowly at first, but returning all the same.

* * *

Leonardo groaned as awareness slowly crept back into his body, slow and sluggish. His head pounded like something fierce, and Leonardo was sure, that for a moment, it was being used as a drum in Hell, the Devil himself beating out a rhythm.

Then, like he had been hit with a bolt of lightning, the pain, the pounding in his head, flared to life in the rest of his body. Why did everything hurt so? Where was he? And more importantly, what happened?

Leonardo knew that if he wanted to find out these answers, he would have to open his eyes. Who knew that a simple action, performed daily by millions, sometimes even unconsciously, could turn into a fight of willpower for Leonardo? He was sure someone had glued his eyes shut whilst he was knocked out. Hell, he was sure someone had stolen his _real _eyes and replaced them with led, they felt that heavy.

His head was fuzzy and his ears were ringing, like he had been to a large concert the night before, and the loud pulsing music he had heard whilst there was the source of his current state. _Except Master Splinter would skin our hides if we ever dared to go out to a concert, _Leo thought idly whilst trying to gather all his strength, which wasn't much, to try and pry his eyes open. _Besides, we'd been seen anyway. There are always flashy lights at a concert. We'd have to hide in a tree at least a hundred metres away from the actual concert and that wouldn't be much fun._

Leonardo shook his head in order to get rid of the wayward thoughts. The result was the return of the Devil, taking the stage again for one final performance on the Leonardo-drums.

He felt something hot and wet slide down his cheek, and even through his fogged haze, Leonardo realized that it was blood; well it was hard _not _to realize it was blood, if the coppery smell was anything to go by.

His mouth was dry and felt like sandpaper. Leo licked his cracked and bloody lips in an attempt to re-moisten his mouth. He could taste blood, and the acidic taste of bile in the back of his throat. He tried to spit, to get rid of the horrid taste, but soon realized he didn't even have enough moisture in his mouth to do that.

_I will sell my two katana, if it means I can have one drink of water._

With an effort, Leo managed to crack his eyes open to small slits. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the gloom that cloaked wherever he was. Leonardo blinked, and turned his head the best he could to look around and make out more of his shadow-cloaked surroundings.

He appeared to be in some kind of warehouse, somewhere near the docks. The faint smell of salty water and fish hit his senses, along with the more overpowering scents that lingered in the warehouse; blood, dust and petrol.

Large wooden crates were stacked in the far corner of the room, piled almost up to the ceiling, and stacked rather precariously. Leonardo was afraid that if he made a noise they would topple over.

High windows, most of which were shattered, dominated the walls, letting in broken fragments of moonlight._Ah, that's why it's so dark, _Leo thought, _it had to be close to midnight by now._

Then one thought crossed Leo's mind. One thought that momentarily pushed away the crushing pain and scraped away his confusion and disorient state. _My family, where is my family?_

Filled with worry and fear for his brothers, Leo struggled and tried desperately to get to his feet. That's when the full horror of the situation became apparent. He was trapped. He was pinned to the cold, rough concrete ground, buried under a heavy layer of rubble. His head and shoulders were free from the crushing weight, and amazingly, so were his arms. But that was it. He was trapped on his stomach, unable to even wiggle from side-to-side, let alone move his legs and pull them up under him.

_No! _Leo thought desperately, struggling despite the fact that he _knew _he was trapped. His body gave a scream of protest with his useless struggles, and a fierce pain shot down his back and right leg.

"Argh!" Leo couldn't help the cry of pain that left his lips. It was filled with pain and agony, and the uselessness he felt at that moment. He couldn't protect his brothers like this, not if he couldn't move. He had failed. He had failed himself, his father and Sensei...his brothers.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," Leo choked, feeling his eyes blur with the sting of tears and his throat close up with a hard lump of emotion that he could not swallow, despite his efforts to do so. "I'm so sorry. I failed. I failed..."

And then, out of the foggy haze...

"Leo?"

Leo snapped his head up at the achingly familiar voice.

* * *

_**Are you swimming upstream,  
In oceans of blue?  
Do you feel like your sinking?  
Are you sick of the rain?  
After all you've been through?  
Well I know what you're thinking...**_

* * *

Raphael coughed, trying to clear the dust that was choking him. His vision swam and distorted with black dots, creeping in from the periphery, like a hungry lion, closing in on its kill. The dust seemed to be everywhere. It was in the air, stinging his eyes. It was in his mouth, filling his nose with the musty odour and making his throat itchy and his lungs burn.

He stumbled into the warehouse, well, what was left of it anyway. It had taken him twenty minutes just to shift enough rubble away from the door so he could slip in. By this time the wanning moon was making its descent from the cloud obscured sky, and into a different sky, a sky halfway around the world.

It took him a minute to get his breathing back under control and for the jarring coughs to subside. He stood still in a bruised and battered body. Streaks of dust covered his dark blue bruises and mixed in with the crimson blood trailing across his skin from numerous cuts, some deep, some not so.

He stood still, waiting for his vision to break through the coiling shadows and darkness. He waited until he could see the outline of the windows on the opposite wall. He waited until he could see everything that was left in the decrepitated building; a tower of cards that would fall at any moment.

_There! _His golden eyes snapped to a high pile of debris in the middle of the room, his eyes piercing through the darkness like the beam of a torch.

He moved then, making his way across the shattered glass and broken debris covered ground, not stopping til he reached his destination.

"_I'm so sorry. I failed. I failed..."_

Sinking to his knees, his body heavy, slow, unresponsive. Numb.

"Leo?"

A pair of eyes, beautiful, familiar, _alive, _snapping to his.

"Raph?"

* * *

Confusion at first, a disorienting cloud still hovering over his mind.

_Why is he here?_

Then he remembered.

He remembered everything.

* * *

_**I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight  
And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain**_

* * *

"Raph? Raphael?"

He blinked. His mind was confusing him, showing him only what he wanted to see in what he was sure to be his last night on earth. He blinked again and the image became _clearer, _sharper, in focus. It didn't shimmer like a mirage, didn't vanish like a ghost, and didn't slip away when he opened his eyes. He was really there.

"Raphael!"

"Leo," Raphael croaked, sinking to his knees beside his pinned brother. He ignored the glass that bit into his flesh, and the way the cold ground seeped its icy fingers into his body, turning him numb.

"Raph," Leo repeated in relief. Despite the crushing weight of the debris that pinned him down, it felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "Thank God you're alright."

"Same to you bro," Raphael said, gripping Leo's scarred hand in his own, squeezing it tightly. His eyes shone with relief and an emotion Leo was trying to identify.

_Why does Raphael look so...broken?_

Then it came to him. "The others, are they alright?" He demanded desperately, holding Raphael's gaze with his own, afraid to hear the answer but wanting, no _needing, _to hear it.

Raphael smiled a soft, reassuring smile. "Yeah bro," he said with his own obvious relief. "They're safe."

"Where are they?" He asked, looking around the abandoned space as if he expected them to stroll through the debris any minute now.

"A few blocks over, where it's safe."

Again that pause, that frightened, hopeless look.

"I'm so sorry bro," Raphael suddenly broke down. His grip on Leo's hand tightened, as if he were afraid to let him go. His body shook with body-wracking sobs. Tears coursed freely down his cheeks, soaking through his flame-red mask and onto the dusty ground at his feet.

"I tried," he whispered, his voice scratchy, muffled by his choking sobs, _distraught. _"God I tried so much!"

Leo didn't say anything. It wasn't Raphael's fault. It wasn't _anybody's _fault. But he knew why he was saying it.

That cloud that had kept his memories trapped in the furthest corner of his mind had vaporized, like dew on a hot morning. Now he had his memories back.

And he remembered everything.

* * *

_**It may be over for us  
But seasons change, oh they change for a reason  
With the autumn leaves that fall down  
I wrote your name across them all  
So you know that I'm here with you  
And the spring is coming soon my friend**_

**_One heart with a million voices_**  
**_One day it could all be gone_**  
**_Hold on to the words they told us_**  
**_Hold on to it all my son_**

* * *

_The wind stirred the night air like a giant's breath. They stood outlined against the dark skyline, crouched down atop the roof, their bandana tails streaming out behind them, as if they were alive, and weren't stirred by the breeze._

"_How many people do you think are in there?" Michelangelo asked, peering over the edge of the roof to get a better look at the dimly lit warehouse below them._

"_There must be at least twenty, maybe more," Donatello replied after a moment of watching silhouettes move about inside the building. "More than we can handle."_

"_More than we can handle?" Raphael snorted, whipping his twin sai from his belt and twirling them expertly in his hands. "They're Purple Dragons Don, not Foot Ninjas. Besides, we could take on twenty Foot Ninjas if we had to."_

"_We have to think this through before we just jump in there and say 'hi'," Leo said calmly, assessing the situation with his usual cool, arms folded comfortably over his chest. "They out number us and we don't know what kind of weapons they have in there."_

"_Exactly," Raphael said, pointing a sai towards the warehouse. "We don't know what they got in there. They could have a bomb 'fer all we know. We can't let 'em smuggle those weapons into 'tha city."_

"_I know that Raphael," Leonardo said calmly. "But we can't just rush in there either. We have one shot at this. If they reach the city, we might not be able to stop them. We have to devise a plan."_

"_Good thing we got Don," Mikey said with a grin._

_Don shook his head and smiled at his little brother before clearing his throat. "Okay guys, here's what we'll do..."_

* * *

_The acts of this life are the destiny of the next.  
__~Eastern Proverb_

* * *

Raphael's shoulders shook as he sucked in a deep, broken breath. "I'm so sorry Leo. I'm so sorry..."

"Raphael," Leo said calmly, trying to fight back the aching tears that had pooled in the corners of his eyes. "Raphael, look at me."

Raphael reluctantly lifted his gaze from the ground and met Leo's gentle eyes.

"It's not your fault," Leo said gently, squeezing his brother's hand in his own. "This is no one's fault. These things just happen Raph."

"No," Raphael gritted his teeth and shook his head fiercely. "No, don't say that! Don't you dare say that! It's my fault and you know it!"

"Raphael," Leo said again, putting a hint of authority into his tone. "Raphael, stop it."

"If I had just listened 'ta ya'," Raphael sobbed, choking back a strangled cry. "If I had just listened 'ta ya' for once!"

"Raphael, if you want someone to blame, blame the Purple Dragons," Leo said, forcing his brother to look at him again. "But do _not _blame yourself. This is _not _your fault Raphael."

Raphael shook his head and bit back a bitter laugh. "How can ya' say that when yer' pinned like this?"

"Because I know what I'm saying is true," Leo said firmly and without hesitation.

This time Raphael looked back at Leo and didn't tear his gaze away. Leo offered him a gentle smile in return.

It was the least he could do.

* * *

_**I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
'Cause I'm broken, when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right, when you're gone away**_

* * *

_The dark clouds that studded the sky like fallen leaves provided the turtles with a plethora of cover. The shadows that were cast by the dark night were thick and impenetrable. And not even the most skilled eye could tell that they were moving. _

_The four brothers made their way quickly and silently across the wharf and to the side of the warehouse. Scanning the perimeter for any signs of movement, they shared a glance and quickly scaled the wall, making their way to the roof. _

_Opening the small window at the top, they looked down at the oblivious Purple Dragons below, who were rushing back and forth like ants, hauling cargo and crates towards a large truck. _

"_Okay, so does everyone remember the plan?" Leo hissed._

_Beside him Mikey was itching to get moving. Don was calculating everything with a trained eye, and Raphael was practically jumping up and down on the spot, his sais already drawn and twirling in a dangerous arc in his hands._

"_Yeah, yeah, we've only been over it like a thousand times," Raphael snapped._

_Leo rolled his eyes at his brother's clear enthusiasm for 'busting up some heads,' as he so elegantly puts it. "Alright, but remember; if you see any signs of a bomb, get out of there straight away."_

"_Got it," Mikey said with an affirmative nod before yelling at the top of his lungs, "cowabunga!"_

_Raphael eagerly followed his little brother through the window and dropped down to the startled Purple Dragons below._

"_They do know we're supposed to be ninjas, right?" Don said too Leo with a smile._

"_Some people just never learn," Leo sighed; hiding his own smile as he quickly joined his brothers._

* * *

_The boundaries which divide life from death__  
are at best shadowy and vague.  
Who shall say where one ends,  
and the other begins?  
__~Edgar Alan Poe_

* * *

_Leo couldn't remember when the fight turned the odds against them, especially when the odds had been in their favour for the whole night, up to this point.  
One minute they were kicking Purple Dragon butt, and the next they were fighting to stay alive. _

_They had underestimated the kinds of weapons the Purple Dragons had been importing, and when they saw the turtles they were quick to whip them out without hesitation. _

_Leo ducked as another laser-bullet was fired at him. It sailed just centimetres above his head, and he could feel the air move around him as it passed. Purple Dragons that had been lying on the ground moments ago, groaning and moaning in pain, were now back on their feet, confidence renewed with their frightening new weapons._

_Leo managed to flip behind a Purple Dragon and knock his weapon from his hand before using the butt of his katana to knock him out. He was drenched in sweat, and despite their endurance training, was running out of steam._

_He took this momentary lull in the fight to search around for his brothers. Donatello's bo-staff had been snapped in half, and he was now wielding it like Leo's own katana, to block and hold off the enemies that were slowly circling him._

_Michelangelo was twirling his nun-chucks around him, trying desperately to keep his enemies at bay and to simultaneously block the laser-bullets that were being fired at him._

_One of Raphael's sais were embedded in the side of the cargo truck. He held the other in his hand, leaping at anyone who came near him, his anger providing him with small bursts of adrenaline. _

_Trying to asses which one of his brothers needed the most help, Leo caught a flicker of movement behind him and spun around to face Hun. He held a small bomb in his hand, and was smiling wickedly at Leo._

"_Retreat! Get out of here now!"Leo shouted, his heart twisting with fear and his blood turning to ice in his veins._

_His brothers looked his way, and seeing the bomb in Hun's hand, made a sprint for the nearest exit.  
Leo turned back around to face Hun just in time to see him throw the bomb. It flew in the air, dark and sleek and deadly, going higher and higher until it hit the roof. It must have been one of their imported weapons, because it didn't detonate as soon as it hit the roof. Instead, it attached itself to the roof, right above where his brothers were. _

_A red light flashed several times before glowing deep amber._

"_Get out now!" Leo screamed, moving so fast he gave Usain Bolt a run for his money. Pushing his brothers out the warehouse door and away from the bomb, Leo only had a second to breathe in relief that they were safe, before the bomb went off and the ceiling crumbled around him. _

_Then, everything went black._

* * *

_**Life's too short to even care at all oh  
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control  
These fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh  
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum  
Oh**_

_**If I could find a way to see this straight  
I'd run away  
To some fortune that I should have found by now  
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down**_

* * *

"_Leo!"_

_Raphael watched in horror as the roof collapsed, burying his brother under the rubble. On the other side of the warehouse the Purple Dragons were loading the rest of the shipment up and speeding away. Raphael let them go._

"_Leo, no!" Raphael cried, his limbs unfreezing from where he had been frozen in horror. He raced towards what was left of the warehouse, furiously digging through the heavy rubble and debris that blocked the only way to his trapped brother._

"_Raph, wait!" Donnie cried his voice hitched and panicked._

"_Let me go!" Raphael screamed as Don tried to pull him away from the rubble. "Let me go God damn it! He's still in there!"_

"_Raph, Hun left another bomb," Don said, his eyes wide and afraid behind his ripped mask._

"_What?" Raphael whispered, not daring to believe what Don was saying._

"_Just as we left, I saw him throw another bomb," Don explained, his breathing ragged and his voice hoarse. _

"_We can't leave him in there!" Raphael screamed, wrenching his arm free from Don's frightened grip and quickly went back to clawing a hole through the rubble._

"_I know, but we have to hurry," Don said as Mikey joined them, his baby-blue eyes shining with fear for his trapped brother._

_It seemed like forever, when in reality it only took them a few minutes. They managed to create a big enough hole for one of them to slip through._

"_Stay here," Raphael ordered, turning to face his two younger brothers. "I'll get Leo."_

"_Raph," Don said, laying a hand on his shoulder._

"_Yeah?"_

"_Be careful."_

_Raph nodded and squeezed himself through the gap. The rubble scraped his hands and his sides as he pushed himself through but he ignored it, his eyes fixed on the pile of rubble in the middle of the room, and Leonardo, who was trapped beneath it._

"_Leo!" He cried when he saw him. Quickly picking his way through the debris, Raphael knelt down beside Leo. Quickly laying his fingers against his neck, he let out a breath of releif when he felt his brother's steady pulse._

"_Thank God," he breathed to himself. "Hang on Leo, I'm gonna get ya' out bro."_

_Getting to his feet, Raphael moved around Leo, tugging at the rubble that had his brother pinned from the shoulders down. Gripping the edge of a large chunk of what used to be the ceiling, Raphael grit his teeth together and heaved with everything he had._

_It didn't budge._

"_Shit!" Raphael swore vehemently. Moving to another piece, Raphael tried to lift that to. But it wouldn't budge either._

"_Fuck!" Raphael swore, his palms growing slippery as a horrible realization slowly dawned on him. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"_

_That's when Raphael noticed the bomb in the corner. It was bigger than the one Hun had thrown before. Red numbers glowed in the darkness, taunting him. He didn't want to look at those numbers, didn't want to think about what they meant, and the impending doom they would bring._

_He still had time. So, for the next ten minutes Raphael grunted, groaned, swore and screamed in frustration as he tried to free his brother, tried to shift the layers of debris and rubble from his trapped body, but to no avail._

_He fell to his knees as the horror and realization finally sunk in. He couldn't free Leo. He couldn't save his brother. He was doomed. He had failed._

_Raphael glanced at the bomb again, at the slowly ticking numbers still displayed. With a deep, shuddering breath, he made a decision. Getting to his feet, he made his way to the hole in the rubble and pushed his way through to where his brothers were pacing nervously outside._

_They stopped when they saw him emerge, the small amount of hope in their eyes dying when they saw him emerge alone. _

"_Where's Leo?" Mikey whispered, afraid of what his brother's answer would be._

"_He's alive," Raphael said calmly, pushing aside his fear and heartache. He didn't want his brothers to see it, they couldn't._

"_He's trapped under a lot of the roof," Raph went on to explain before they could say anything else. "I located the bomb, and there's still some time. I'm going to take you guys somewhere safe, and then I'm coming back to get Leo."_

"_No!" They both said instantly. _

"_Let me see the bomb," Donatello spoke up. "I might be able to disarm it."_

_Raphael shook his head sadly. "It can't be disarmed," he whispered. His mind flashed back to the minutes he had spent furiously examining the bomb, and discovering that it only had one red wire, and if the wire was cut, the bomb would only go off sooner. "I already tried."_

"_Then we'll help you get Leo out," Mikey said, tears brimming in the corners of his eyes. "We're not letting you do this alone Raph."_

"_Yes you are," Raphael said firmly but gently. "It's unstable in there. It's dangerous with me being in their alone, let alone the two of you too."_

"_But…"_

"_No buts," Raphael interrupted, softly. "You have to listen to me now. Leo's not here to give us orders, so it falls to me. You will do as I say."_

_There was no use arguing. Donnie and Mikey both knew it was a hopeless situation. The only way Leo would survive was if Raphael could pull him out in time, and though Raphael hadn't told them that he couldn't free Leo, they already had a sinking feeling in their guts that that was the case._

* * *

_**You were standing in the wake of devastation  
And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown  
And with the cataclysm raining down  
Insides crying "Save me now"  
You were there, impossibly alone**_

_**Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?  
You build up hope, but failure's all you've known  
Remember all the sadness and frustration  
And let it go.  
Let it go**_

* * *

_They moved quickly, following Raphael as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop, taking them further and further away from the wharf and warehouse. Finally coming to a stop, Raphael turned to face his brothers. They were at least five hundred metres away from the wharf. When the bomb went off they would be safe._

"_Alright," Raphael said, slowly turning around to face his brothers. "Promise me you'll stay here."_

_Mikey and Donnie shared a quick look. Their eyes shone with unshed tears and defeat. How had such a simple nightly patrol and raid turned into this? A cruel joke and a fight for their lives?_

_They nodded, and Raphael saw they weren't going to follow. Now for the hardest part, the goodbye._

_Raphael knew he was never good with words, that he often expressed his emotions through his eyes and his fists. He swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat, which was trying to stop the words from coming._

_Pulling Donnie and Mikey in for a hug, he embraced them fiercely and closed his eyes, remembering their scent, their life, for the last time._

"_Love 'ya bros," he said with a weak smile and wavering voice. "Don't ya' ever forget that."_

"_We love you to," Donnie said, both his and Mikey's eyes shining with brimming tears._

"_Why are you saying that? You're coming back with Leo, right?" Mikey asked, seconds away from breaking down and sobbing._

_Raphael turned away from his youngest brother before he could see the tears rolling down his cheeks. _

"_Yeah Mikey," he choked out. "'Course I will."_

_He left quickly before they could hear his sobs and see his tears. He hated lying to his brothers._

* * *

_**Well, I know the feeling  
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge  
And there ain't no healing  
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge  
I'm telling you that, it's never that bad  
Take it from someone who's been where you're at  
Laid out on the floor  
And you're not sure you can take this anymore**_

* * *

_By the time Raphael had got back to the warehouse, he was sobbing freely. His chest heaved with them and his body shook with them. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried like this. Hell, he had NEVER cried like this._

_But he knew he had a reason for crying like this. And it was because he knew that tonight was the last night he would ever see his brothers again._

* * *

_**In this moment,  
Everything suddenly makes sense  
All the random pieces in my life are falling into place  
In an instant  
I am flying high and scared to death  
Coz I wonder if you feel it to  
I wanna be a part of you**_

**_If it's goodbye now forever_**  
**_And I never get to see you again_**  
**_If it's the last kiss_**  
**_Before the world should end_**  
**_I wanna thank you for the night of my life_**

**_Will this feeling_**  
**_Touch you and linger on your skin_**  
**_Or like a feather in the wind_**  
**_And blow away out into space_**  
**_Will my memory_**  
**_Haunt you and bring you back again_**  
**_And I wonder if you need me to_**  
**_Whether I'll be meeting you_**

**_If it's goodbye now forever_**  
**_And I never get to see you again_**  
**_If it's the last kiss_**  
**_Before the world should end_**  
**_I wanna thank you for the night of my life_**

**_Ohh_**  
**_Don't go away_**  
**_Stay with me and the sun will rise_**  
**_In your eyes I will be all you need_**

**_If it's goodbye now forever_**  
**_And I never get to see you again_**  
**_If it's the last kiss_**  
**_Before the world should end_**  
**_I wanna thank you for the night of my life_**

**_Thank you_**

* * *

Pain…always the pain…

_Feels like I'm being crushed…_

_Raphael's here, everything's going to be okay now…_

Realization

Nothing will be okay ever again.

Sacrifice.

* * *

_**I turn the page  
My story ends  
I say goodbye to all my friends  
I know it's getting late  
Now the light is on my face  
I changed the clocks back again  
And ask forgiveness for my sins  
Cause I don't know where I'll go  
Well this is all that I really know**_

_**I'll keep holding on  
I'll keep singing my song  
It gets me through it  
I've got the scars to prove it  
Well I know the road is long  
But I'm staying strong  
So don't cry  
Cause this is not my last goodbye**_

* * *

With each minute that passed, the clearer everything was becoming to Leo. He remembered the fight; he remembered the bomb, the sadistic grin on Hun's face, the roof collapsing, the pain…  
He remembered that they had pizza for dinner that night, and played guitar hero before they went out on patrol. He remembered that Mikey had accidentally broken his guitar by falling on it. He remembered the song they played to was 'Stairway to Heaven.'

He caught the faint, glowing numbers in the corner of his vision, and quickly snapped his attention back to Raphael.

"Raph, you have to get out of here now!"

Raphael smiled weakly, like he had expected Leo to say that. "Sorry bro, I ain't going nowhere."

"You have to!" Leo yelled, whipping his head back around to the bomb that was sitting in the corner, silent and waiting. "You'll be killed if you don't!"

"I know," Raphael whispered. "But so will you."

"That doesn't matter," Leo growled. "What matters is that you get out of here with Donnie and Mikey. Oh God, Donnie and Mikey! Where are they?"

"Relax bro," Raphael said gently. "I already got Donnie and Mikey away. They're safe."

"Raphael, get out of here now," Leo said firmly, grounding his teeth together in fear and frustration.

"I already told ya', no," Raphael said softly but firmly, settling down next to Leo, stretching his legs in front of him and getting comfortable.

"Raph, what the hell are you doing?" Leo cried in panic. This wasn't right, his brother should be running, not staying here with him.

Raphael looked at Leo, and Leo saw the life and the raw _emotion _shining in his golden eyes. "No Leo," he whispered. "I couldn't get you out of here. I tried, but I couldn't. And I couldn't disarm 'tha bomb either, or move it. I ain't leaving you here 'ta die alone either."

"Raphael please," Leo begged, taking another look at the bomb and the numbers displayed on the screen. "Get out of here now! That's an order Raphael!"

"Sorry bro," Raph smiled softly, "but you know I never follow your orders."

Leo screamed. He screamed and cried and yelled. But still Raphael didn't budge from his position next to his trapped brother.

"Listen 'ta me Leo," Raphael whispered, forcing his brother to meet his eyes. "I ain't leaving you here to die alone. We're brothers, and if we go out, we go out together."

Leo felt the tears roll down his cheeks. They didn't stop and his chest hurt from crying, but he couldn't stop.

"Raphael, please, you can't do this!"

"It'll be okay Leo," Raphael whispered. "It'll be okay."

Leo looked at the neon numbers again.

_Six_

Outside, the sky was turning a soft blue, alight with hues or brilliant gold and pink. It was the start of a new day.

_Five_

He closed his eyes and swallowed and wiped the tears from his face as best he could.

_Four_

"I love you Leo."

_Three_

"I love you to Raph."

_Two_

Raphael grabbed Leo's hand and squeezed it tightly.

_One_

There was a deafening _boom! _and a sudden flash of pure, white light.

And in the blinding flash of light, Leo felt his mind quiet with peace and his spirit break free from the confines of his body, even as his body grew slack.

And as he took his final, shuddering breath, he smiled, despite the pain.

Because Raphael was still holding his hand.

* * *

_A thousand memories_

_A thousand moments_

_All leading up to this one_

* * *

_**You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
So please don't take my sunshine away**_

* * *

**A/n: **There will be one more chapter, from Donnie and Mikey's point of view, after the accident. I'd love to hear what you thought.


	2. Picking Up The Pieces

~_A Numb Lullaby_~

* * *

**Summary:** A brother's sacrifice and last moments on earth..."No! Raphael get out of here, now!" Leonardo cried desperately, seeing the flashing red numbers from the corner of his eyes. "No," Raphael whispered fiercely. "I'm not going to let you die alone. If we die, we die together." Then Raphael grabbed Leo's hand in his and squeezed. And then the bomb went off. CHARACTER DEATH. Two-shot.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own TMNT or the songs and quotes used throughout this story. All rights belong to their respective owners. I make no profit from this.

**A/n: **I did promise a second chapter for this, and this will be the LAST chapter for it also. It is in Mikey's and Donnie's POV after the accident. Thank you all for reading and reviewing the first chapter. I hope this one lives up to your expectations. As it says in the summary, this _is _a death-fic, so if anyone does not like them, I suggest you hit the back button and don't read any further.

Warnings for swearing and angst.

The songs used throughout this story are as followed;

**Breathe- **Taylor Swift

**Iris- **Goo Goo Dolls

**My Immortal-** Evanescence

**What Hurts The Most**- Rascall Flatts

**Bridge Of Light**- Pink

**Everybody Hurts**- Avril Lavinge

**Goodbye Lullaby**- Avril Lavigne

* * *

_Five..._

_Four..._

_Three..._

_Two..._

_One..._

* * *

Michelangelo paced restlessly on the rooftop, arms folded behind his back and eyes focused intently on the ground. Beside him, his older brother Donatello said perched on the edge of the roof, body rigid and chocolate brown eyes focused towards the distant wharf and ramshackle warehouse.

"Where are they?" Michelangelo muttered, still pacing the length of the rooftop. He had been doing that for a little over fifteen minutes now, and Donatello was starting to think that he'd wear a path into the concrete.

"I don't know Mikey," Don shook his head, snapping his gaze away from the wharf to focus on his agitated little brother. His movements were jerky and sharp, his muscle coiled like he was about to jump off the roof and run to wharf, where his other two brothers were.

Don couldn't blame him. He was wound up tighter than a security fence at a state prison, and with each minute that passed; he found it harder to keep what little calm he had left in check.

"It's been fifteen minutes Donnie," Mikey snapped, baby blue eyes filled with worry and fear for his missing brothers.

_That look shouldn't be in his eyes, _Don thought sadly. _It makes him look a lot older than he should be._

"Why aren't they back yet?" He demanded, finally halting his pacing to stare at Donnie, his eyes imploring him for an answer.

"I don't know Mikey," Don answered truthely, wanting nothing more than to sooth his little brother, but knowing his words would only sound hollow.

"Why did Raph have to go off by himself?" Mikey growled, turning away from Don and resuming his agitated pacing. "We should be there helping him."

"I know Mikey, but you saw the building," Don sighed. "It was, _is, _structurally unsound. Raph's right, it could come down any minute now. Having more people in there would be dangerous."

"I don't care!" Mikey snapped.

Don watched silently as all his anger seemed to leave Mikey in that moment, and he deflated like a balloon, slowly sinking to his hunches and wrapping his arms around himself. "I just want them to be safe," he whispered.

"I know Mikey, I want them to be safe to," Don whispered, getting silently to his feet and making his way over to his distraught brother and sinking to the ground next to him. Don wrapped his arms around his little brother and pulled him in for a hug.

Mikey leaned his head against Don's shoulder and sniffled, trying to hold back the tears of frustration that he so desperately wanted to shed. Don, as if sensing this, wrapped his arms tighter around Mikey and gently rubbed his shell, silently telling him that it was okay to cry.

Mikey squeezed his eyes shut tightly, letting a few tears escape. Don pulled back from the hug and gently wiped his tears away, offering Mikey a small smile. "Hey, you know Raph. He doesn't give up. You just wait; Leo and Raph are going to be sneaking up on us any minute now."

"Yeah, I guess they will," Mikey attempted a smile, wiping away the rest of his tears.

Wordlessly, Don got his feet and extended his hand to Mikey, helping him to his own feet. "Come on," he said, guiding Mikey towards the edge of the rooftop where he had been sitting before. "Let's wait."

Mikey nodded and took a seat next to his brother, letting his legs dangle over the edge. "Wonder if we have any pizza left back at the lair."

Don smiled, appreciating Mikey's distraction. "Mikey, when we get home we'll order a _thousand _pizzas."

"Sounds good bro," Mikey smiled.

Just then the warehouse on the wharf exploded into flames.

* * *

_**Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,  
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.  
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,  
Now I don't know what to be without you around.**_

**_And we know it's never simple,_**  
**_Never easy._**  
**_Never a clean break, no one here to save me._**  
**_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,_**  
**_And I can't,_**  
**_Breathe,_**  
**_Without you,_**  
**_But I have to,_**  
**_Breathe,_**  
**_Without you,_**  
**_But I have to._**

* * *

The wharf was alight with the flickering flames of the raging inferno. Fragments of splintered and charred wood rained down onto the wharf and into the dark water, before disappearing below the surface. The sky, which moments ago had slowly been turning to a soft blue with the coming sunrise, now turned a brilliant red as thick black smoke coiled from the wreckage and scarlet flames licked what was left of the structure.

Donatello jerked away from where he had been snoozing, resting his head on Mikey's shoulder. He was momentarily confused, before remembering why they were here.

"What...what's goin' on?" Mikey mumbled, slowly opening his eyes and yawning, looking around him in confusion. "What was that noise?"

"I don't..." Don trailed off when he saw a plume of thick, coiling smoke in the corner of his eye. He snapped his gaze towards the wharf, which was now light by a slowly dimming fire.

Don felt his blood run cold when he realized that the warehouse was gone, nothing more than splintered wood and scarlet flames. "No," he whispered, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. "No, no, no, no!"

He felt something sinking in his gut and realized it was his heart. Beside him, Mikey was sitting up straight, his body rigid and tense, his eyes horror-struck and focused on what was left of the warehouse.

"No!" Mikey screamed, jumping to his feet, his body shaking with terror. "Leo! Raph!"

Don was on his feet in an instant. Leaping down from the roof, he heard Mikey follow him before he took off at a dead sprint, not caring if anyone saw him.

_Please let them be okay, please let them be okay, please, please, please! _He kept repeating over and over again in his head as he raced towards the wharf, his heart breaking with every step he took.

* * *

_**And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cuz sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight**_

**_And I don't want the world to see me_**  
**_Cuz I don't think that they'd understand_**  
**_When everything's made to be broken_**  
**_I just want you to know who I am_**

**_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_**  
**_Or the moment of truth in your lies_**  
**_When everything feels like the movies_**  
**_Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive_**

* * *

They arrived at the wharf five minutes later. In the distance they could hear the faint cry of sirens, signaling that the fire-depart would arrive soon. Most of the flames had already died down. But that didn't make the scene look any less horrific. Pieces of charred and splintered wood, what used to be the warehouse, littered the ground. Ash drifted in the air and smoke blocked out the light of the rising sun. There was no sign of Leo or Raph.

"No," Don whispered, feeling his limbs freeze in place, unable to move, to act or react to what he was seeing. "No, please God, no."

Mikey moved slowly around the wreckage, being careful to avoid the few flames that still burned dully on the scattered wood. His eyes were huge and hidden behind a film of unshed tears.

"Maybe they got away?" Mikey ventured slowly, picking his way carefully over to Don. "They could be hiding somewhere. Or waiting for us back on the roof."

Don forced himself to take a deep, calming breath. Mikey was right. Leo and Raph could have made it out before the building exploded. They could be safe. They could be _alive._

"You're right," Don said, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. "Lets..."

He trailed off when he saw movement in the corner of his eye. Heart speeding up, then sinking, he turned around slowly and moved forward further into the wreckage. There was a light breeze stirring the air, and that was what had caused the movement. Because there, snagged on a piece of charred wood, were Leo's and Raph's torn masks.

"No," Mikey whispered when he saw this, his legs moving on auto-pilot as he followed Don towards the only remains left of their brothers.

Don sunk to his knees in front of the colored pieces of fabric, the red and blue standing out starkly against the blackness of the wood. It was like the world had been leeched of colour and these masks were the only coloured things remaining.

"No!"

Don closed his eyes at the sound of his little brother's anguished cry. His whole body felt numb and his mind was unable to process what was happening. His brothers were dead.

"No," Don whispered, his body starting to shake with shock. "No, no, no, no."

He felt tears rolling down his cheeks and splashing onto the charred and burnt ground beneath him. His body started to shake as the tears became harder. A lump had formed in his throat and his heart, his heart was twisted with unimaginable pain. It felt like he was being repeatedly stabbed in the chest, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"No," he croaked, the words harm to form around the hard lump in his throat. He reached down and gently, as if they were made of glass, picked up the tattered masks in his hand, staring down at them in disbelief. _This was all that was left._ _A lifetime of memories, of thoughts and feelings, and this was all that was left of them?_

"Oh God," he choked before his body was overtook with racking sobs. His hands curled around the cold fabric, clutching it closer to his chest, as tears rolled freely down his cheeks.

Behind him, he could hear his little brother, his _only _brother, screaming and crying. He was rocking back and forth on his knees, his hands clutching his throat like it hurt, tears streaking down his cheeks and falling to the ground.

"Raphie! Leo! No! No! No! Please come back, come back!"

Don closed his eyes and felt a sob rip free from his chest at the sound of his younger brother's anguished pleading. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be real.

But it was. He was crouching their on the ground, holding the only things left of his older brothers, his little brother behind him screaming and wailing, calling out for brothers that were no longer there.

And there wasn't a single thing Don could do.

* * *

_**I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone**_

**_These wounds won't seem to heal_**  
**_This pain is just too real_**  
**_There's just too much that time cannot erase_**

**_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_**  
**_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_**  
**_And I held your hand through all of these years_**  
**_But you still have_**  
**_All of me_**

**_You used to captivate me_**  
**_By your resonating light_**  
**_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_**  
**_Your face it haunts_**  
**_My once pleasant dreams_**  
**_Your voice it chased away_**  
**_All the sanity in me_**

**_These wounds won't seem to heal_**  
**_This pain is just too real_**  
**_There's just too much that time cannot erase_**

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along**_

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**_  
_**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_  
_**And I held your hand through all of these years**_  
_**But you still have**_  
_**All of me**_

* * *

~Don's POV~

We had to leave when the fire engines showed up. We didn't want to, didn't think we could actually move, but we did. Grabbing Mikey's hand in mine, and clutching my brothers masks in the other, I pulled Mikey to his feet and together we stumbled, numb and broken, out of sight and towards the nearest man-hole cover.

We stopped when we reached a secluded alley, away from the wharf. But from here we could still hear the sirens, could still hear the sinister crackle of the flames.

Mikey slid against the damp brick wall and fell to the dirty ground, his shoulders shaking and his body heaving. I didn't think he had any tears left to cry. I didn't think I did either.

It wasn't until another ten minutes had passed before we were able to keep going. My legs felt like they were made of jelly, and my heart felt like a block of ice in my chest. How were we going to tell our father that we were the only sons he had left? How were we supposed to tell him that the ripped and slightly charred mask in my hands was all that was left?

I don't even remember stumbling into the lair, but we must have. One minute we were scrambling through the dark cold sewers and the next we were in the warmth and light of our home.

"My sons," Master Splinter said quietly from the couch. An empty teacup was sitting on the coffee table, and one of his incense was burning somewhere nearby. I realized that he had waited up all night for us to return, to worried about us to fall asleep.

That's when I broke down. I sunk to the floor, sobbing heart-wrenching sobs that shook my whole body and drained away the only energy I had left. Next to me I felt Mikey shiver and I could hear him crying softly.

Master Splinter was on his feet in an instant and crouching down in front of me, resting a paw on my shoulder and forcing me to look at him.

"Donatello, what is wrong my son? Where are Leonardo and Raphael?"

I couldn't tell him, I couldn't. I couldn't breathe and I couldn't speak past the lump lodged in my throat. So I slowly brought my hands forward, revealing the ripped masks.

Master Splinter froze, his whole body growing rigid. His yellow eyes focused on the masks and I saw understanding dawn on his face.

It was the first time I saw my father cry. He sunk to the floor in front of me and Mikey, the masks of his other sons clutched in his paws as he pulled us into a tight embrace, tears streaking down his furry cheeks.

We stayed like that for hours.

* * *

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let em' out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay  
But that's not what gets me**_

_**What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away**_

_**And never knowing, what could have been...**_

_**Still harder getting' up, getting' dressed, livin' with this regret**_

_**But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken**_

* * *

~Mikey's POV~

I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I couldn't believe that two of my brothers were gone. I couldn't believe that I'd never see Leo and Raph again. Leo...he always knew what to do. He always had a plan. He always _saved _us. He was perfect, nothing could stop him. And now he was dead?

And Raphie...he was always the most gentle to me. Even when he was angry he was careful not to show it to much around me. In battle he always did everything to protect me. He was always willing to spend time with me, even if he didn't show it a lot of the time. I had seen him take hit after hit and not go down, so how could he be gone now?

It was then that I realized what must have happened. When Raph came out to take me and Don away from the warehouse, he must have realized that he couldn't get Leo free. He must have seen the bomb, so he took us someplace safe and out of the way. Then he went back to Leo, so Leo wouldn't die alone.

I can't describe the feeling of losing someone you love. Simply saying that it feels like your heart has been ripped apart doesn't do it justice. It is the worse feeling in the world, and I pray that no one else ever has to feel it and go through what I've been through.

After we got back to the lair, and Don had calmed down enough to tell master Splinter everything that had happened, we realized that there was still someone we had to tell. There was still someone we had relay this horrible news to: April and Casey.

We couldn't do it over the phone, that would just be cruel. So even though it was the middle of the day, we ventured to the surface, hearts heavy with our burden, and stuck to the shadows as best we could. It's hard to be a ninja when you have a broken heart.

Don was the one who knocked on the window. Casey and April were surprised to see us in the daylight, but they let us in anyway.

"Hey guys, what's up?" April said, realizing something was wrong when Leo and Raph didn't appear behind us.

"Leo and Raph..." Don rasped, his voice raw from screaming, "they're..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. So I did. "They're dead," I blurted out. It wasn't the best tact, but at that time I didn't care about tact. Two of my brothers were dead, and nothing could ever bring them back again.

I don't want to go through everything that happened then. Don showed them the masks, and after that it was chaos again. April fell to her knees and cried. Casey blinked a few times in disbelief before screaming at the top of his lungs and punching a hole right through the wall. He punched the wall until his knuckles were raw and bleeding, before sinking to the ground and crying.

Then Don and Master Splinter started crying again and I felt like I was going to explode. I wanted to punch something, I wanted to reverse time and save my brothers, but I couldn't do anything but stand there and cry.

* * *

_**When you think  
Hope is lost  
And giving up  
Is all you got,  
And blue turns black,  
Your confidence is cracked,  
There seems no turning back from here  
Sometimes there isn't an obvious explanation  
Why the holiest stars can feel the strongest palpitations**_

**_That's when you can build a bridge of light,_**  
**_That's what turns the wrong so right_**  
**_That's when you can't give up the fight_**  
**_That's when love turns night-time into day,_**  
**_That's when loneliness goes away,_**  
**_That's why you gotta be strong tonight,_**  
**_Only love can build us a bridge of light_**

**_When your feet are made of stone_**  
**_And you're convinced that you're all alone_**  
**_Look at the stars, instead of the dark_**  
**_You'll find your heart shines like the sun_**  
**_Let's not let our anger get us lost_**  
**_And the need to be right comes with way too high a cost_**

**_That's when love can build a bridge of light_**  
**_That's what turns the wrong so right_**  
**_That's when you know it's worth the fight_**  
**_That's when love turns night-time into day_**  
**_That's when loneliness goes away,_**  
**_That's why you gotta be strong tonight_**  
**_'Cause only love can build us a bridge of light_**

**_Deep breath, take it on the chin_**  
**_But don't forget to let the love back in_**  
**_That's when love can build a bridge of light_**  
**_That's what turns the wrong so right_**  
**_That's when you can't give up the fight_**

**_And that's when love turns night-time into day,_**  
**_That's when loneliness goes away_**  
**_That's why you gotta be strong tonight_**  
**_'cause only love can build us a bridge of light_**

* * *

~Don's POV~

It took a long time after that for things to return to a semblance of normal. It took weeks, _months, _before some of the pain went away, though it never left us completely. I still cry at night, fighting the urge to scream into my tear-soaked pillow. I hear Mikey cry at night to, and that's worse. His sobs echo around the lair, which feels so empty now.

A lot of nights Mikey creeps into my room, sniffling and seeking comfort. So I move over and pull the covers around us tight, holding him tight as we try our best not to cry. I still have nightmares to. I think everyone does.

For the first few weeks after the accident, I always stood in Leo and Raph's room, staring at it. Their rooms looked like they hadn't left. Sometimes I found Mikey, curled up in one of their beds at night, whimpering in his sleep. I did that to. But after awhile, I noticed the dust that was gathering on their untouched possessions. And then it would hit home all over again that they weren't coming back.

April and Casey visited sometimes. They knew we needed our space. But after a while they started to visit us more frequently. I think they were lonely. Whenever we saw April, her eyes would be red from crying, and she had to leave the room occasionally, rushing away before we could see her tears.

Casey went out fighting a lot, putting all his emotions behind his fists. It reminded me of Raph, and more than once as a result I fell to the ground in a teary mess. But then, after awhile, I think Casey realized it wasn't the same with Raph not there beside him.

We had a small funeral for them out at Casey's farmhouse. Under the shade of a large willow tree, we made two wooden crosses, and stuck them close together. We attached their masks to their graves, and watched as they dying rays of the sun lit them up gold, and the warm spring breeze blew them gently.

We tried to say a few words, but after a while it became apparent that we couldn't say much between the lumps in our throats. Master Splinter knelt next to their graves and whispered something in Japanese.

I stood next to Mikey, my only brother remaining, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he cried into my chest.

"It's not fair," he whispered over and over again, his voice slightly muffled from leaning into me.

"I know," I had whispered back. "I know."

Things were slow after that. Even now things haven't really gone back to normal. The lair is still too big, to quiet now. The table is still to empty. It hurts to sit there, seeing the two chairs next to us that will never be filled again.

We train, sometimes, but very often. And when we do, we keep expecting to hear Raph's challenging voice, and Leo's encouragements to keep us going, and pointing out what we need to fix.

I keep expecting to see Leo and Raph fighting each other, like they always used to do. I kept expecting to see Leo in the dojo, practicing his katas, or meditating with Master Splinter. I kept expecting to see Raph punching his beloved bag, or covered in grease in the garage, working on his bike.

But none of those things happen.

* * *

_**Don't know; don't know if I can do this on my own  
Why do you have to leave me?  
It seems I'm losing something deep inside of me  
Hold on onto me  
Now I see, now I see**_

**_Everybody hurts some days_**  
**_It's okay to be afraid_**  
**_Everybody hurts, everybody screams_**  
**_Everybody feels this way and it's okay_**  
**_Ladadadada, it's okay_**

**_It feels like nothing really matters anymore_**  
**_When you're gone, I can't breathe_**  
**_And I know you never meant to make me feel this way_**  
**_This can't be happening_**  
**_Now I see (now I see), now I see_**

**_Everybody hurts some days_**  
**_It's okay to be afraid_**  
**_Everybody hurts, everybody screams_**  
**_Everybody feels this way and it's okay_**  
**_Ladadadada it's okay_**

**_So many questions, so much on my mind_**  
**_So many answers I can't find_**  
**_I wish I could turn back the time_**  
**_I wonder why_**  
**_Everybody hurts some days (some days)_**  
**_Everybody hurts some days (some days)_**

**_Everybody hurts some days (some days)_**  
**_It's okay to be afraid (I'm afraid)_**  
**_Everybody hurts, everybody screams_**  
**_Everybody feels this way and it's okay_**

**_Ladadadada it's okay_**  
**_Lalalalala it's okay_**

**_Everybody hurts some days_**  
**_(Some days)_**  
**_It's okay to be afraid_**  
**_(I'm afraid)_**  
**_Everybody hurts some days_**  
**_Yeah, we all feel pain (It's okay)_**  
**_Everybody feels this way_**  
**_But it'll be okay (some days)_**  
**_Can't somebody take me away_**  
**_To a better place?_**  
**_Everybody feels this way_**

* * *

~Don's POV~

It's been six months since the accident claimed two of my brothers' lives. Things are slowly starting to repair themselves. And though I know that things will never be the same, that this hole in our hearts we all fill, will never truly be filled again. But we're trying. We're trying to move on, and go on with our lives.

Every Sunday, we all go out to the farmhouse and visit our brothers' graves. I still cry some nights, still wake up screaming from nightmares, but their getting better now. We're slowly starting to overcome this void.

Sometimes Mikey and I go out with Casey to do some patrolling. I think he likes the company. It's not a bad way for us to clear our heads either. It's still weird, sitting at the table and seeing those empty chairs. It's still weird to walk past their empty bedrooms, and to see their weapons, un-used, in the dojo. It's weird to sit down and watch a movie, and not have them their arguing over the movie.

But we're getting there, together, as a family.

We're taking baby steps, but steps all the same.

* * *

We sat on the abandoned rooftop, that same rooftop we were sitting on only six months ago, waiting for brothers that were never going to return. It was a clear night, and we were watching the stars, leaning back on our hands and letting our legs dangle over the edge.

"What's that one?" Mikey asked, pointing to a constellation above us.

"That's Scorpius," I said, identifying the cluster.

"Cool," Mikey said, leaning back further so he was lying on his shell. "Okay how about that one?" He said, pointing to another one.

"That's Taurus," I explained. "A bull."

"Oh," Mikey nodded. "You're good at this."

"I've studied star charts before," I shrugged, brushing off his praise.

Mikey was quiet for a while, so I leaned back and closed my eyes to the silence. A cool breeze blew over us, making me feel instantly relaxed and refreshed.

"What are those two?" Mikey spoke up after awhile.

I opened my eyes and followed his finger to two stars, set close together in the sable sky, shining brightly, brighter than all the other stars. One of the stars was glowing with a fierce, white light, so bright that it was surrounded by an enchanted blue light. And the second star, next to the glowing blue star, glowed a deep red in the moonlight.

I felt a soft smile cross my lips. I'd never seen these stars before, or stars like this. I didn't even know if they had been charted, let alone named.

But that didn't matter. Because to me, they looked like my brothers.

* * *

_**Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love  
I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come**_

**_I have to go_**  
**_I have to go_**  
**_I have to go_**  
**_And leave you alone_**  
**_But always know_**  
**_Always know_**  
**_Always know that I love you so_**  
**_I love you so_**  
**_I love you so, oh_**

**_Goodbye brown eyes_**  
**_Goodbye for now_**  
**_Goodbye sunshine_**  
**_Take care of yourself_**

**_I have to go_**  
**_I have to go_**  
**_I have to go_**  
**_And leave you alone_**  
**_But always know_**  
**_Always know_**  
**_Always know that I love you so_**  
**_I love you so, oh_**  
**_I love you so, oh_**

**_La lullaby  
Distract me with your rhymes  
La lullabyLa lullaby  
Help me sleep tonight  
La lullaby  
(La lullaby, la lullaby)_**

**_I have to go (goodbye)_**  
**_I have to go (lullaby)_**  
**_I have to go (goodbye)_**  
**_And leave you alone_**

**_But always know (goodbye)_**  
**_Always know (brown eyes)_**  
**_Always know (goodbye)_**  
**_That I love you so_**

**_I love you so (goodbye lullaby)_**  
**_I love you so, oh (goodbye)_**  
**_I love you so (goodbye brown eyes)_**  
**_I love you so (goodbye)_**  
**_I love you so_**  
**_I love you so_**

**_Goodbye brown eyes_**  
**_Goodbye my love_**

* * *

_~End~_

* * *

**A/n: **Okay, I admit, I choked up a bit whilst writing this, especially the last few paragraphs. I hope that was an alright ending for you all, and I _am _sorry I killed Leo and Raph. I know some of you might have been hoping that they somehow survived the explosion, but that's not the way I wanted to take this story. Thank you all for reading. It was an enlightening piece to write.

Leave a review; let me know what you thought.


End file.
